in absentia

I pace my apartment trying to get my brain to work. Photoshop sits staring at me through my flat screen monitor with a half done project covering the screen like some tattered rag. The screen dims, then winks off by itself. I wiggle the mouse and it comes alive again. Nervous energy overwhelms me and I leave the room to scavenge through my fridge. The carrots are starting to wilt and the potatoes are beginning to sprout. I should use them but I can't pull enough together to make anything out of it. The potato chips on the cupboard are stale but it's my last bag so I finish it off. The yogurt's nearly finished so I grab a spoon out of the sink, rinse it off and eat the rest out of the container. Feeling a little better I go back to my computer to find it sleeping. I wiggle the mouse to bring it back to attention. The internet icon beckons me, but it's fruitless. I turned off my internet last month and the only open network exists just to tantalize me while being mysteriously unconnectable. The screen winks off again.

"Damnit."

The sound breaks the silence and recedes. Maybe I need a little music, something to break the monotony of the apartment. I open iTunes and flip through my catalogue trying to find the right song for my mood. Double click and the music pours through tiny computer speakers. But I can't think now. The project mocks me and my thought flees at the sound of music. It peaks out from where it's hiding but they doesn't get far before it's chased away by the music. The music stops and the single lonely thought pops out again to rattle around in my brain. The screen winks off again.