I'm aware I'm talking to my self like I'm in a movie. I don't know if it's because I've watched too many movies and I'm mimicking them or if this is how one would normally talk in a situation like this. All I know is it feels right.
My reflection stares back at me from the bathroom mirror. I look deep into my own eyes like I imagine I would if this were a movie. I get less answers from those eyes than I want.
I dress in those clothes I've seen a million times. I just bought the suit jacket today, but the rest of the clothes have been purchased when I've recognized them at a mall or a bazaar. The guns are the strangest parts of my collection, and strangely no more difficult to procure than the rest of the ensemble. Two 9mm automatics with Catholic imagery I got in Mexico from what must have been religious gangsters.
Once dressed I exit my dirty room, close the door and walk to the next door. I've seen this part too. I didn't know why I hesitate until now. But I do. I stop and think of all the twists and turns that have brought me here today; and then I knock.
I draw my right-hand gun from under my left arm and hold the silenced muzzle to the door.
1-2-3-4
It was years before I counted to time the thing out. I don't know if I knew it was me doing it then but it returned so often I felt that I should know it intimately.
I shoot two bullets through the door and spin back to my right.
5-6-7-8
Bullet riddle the door leaving the structure compromised enough that I can kick through like a hero from the movies. As I step through the door I draw my left-hand gun from under my right arm.
Man to the left and I don't even have to look. I hold the gun and shoulder height at 90 degrees to my body and fire one shot. He's dead.
Simultaneously I shoot a man on my right crouched down. I have to have my gun tilted at about a 30 degree angle and my arm out at maybe a fifteen degree angle out. I know I've hit him before I've even pull the trigger. Spin to the left, shoot. Three steps forward and shoot through the door.
I use no more than one bullet per person. There's not that many people and it's done in a matter of seconds. People lay scattered around the room in unnatural positions and I can barely tell whether I'm sleeping
This is where the dream ends though, and thus so to does my foreknowledge. I know I reach the holy door without getting killed but I don't know what's behind it. It opens. I've still got bullets in my gun but I don't know if I should raise them or not. I don't know what to do now. Wouldn't the dream have told me if there were more bad guys?
I didn't know why I was doing this till now. She comes out through the door battered and scared, pleading at me with her eyes. But what now?
